Why I Stopped Striving for Perfection and Started Striving for Acceptance
by Kim VanOs Photography
I know the title might be a little controversial—and you might wonder why it’s on a photographer’s blog post—but it’s part of my personal story. It’s also part of how I intentionally try to make my clients feel. I hope that they see the things I see when I snap the photo: the beauty that comes from within, the slow growth of confidence with each smile, and the ability to look at an imperfect photo and yet see the perfect moment.
When I say a client is stunning, I truly mean it. I look through the camera lens, or come home and edit the photos, and I see the fleck of gold in someone’s eye—always there and shining, even if most people don’t notice it. I see the incredible smile that radiates when someone truly laughs—or even just giggles when I say, “Give me a giggle.” When I say acceptance, it isn’t about acceptance from others—it’s about acceptance from myself. I’ve struggled on and off with self-confidence and accepting who I am and who I was made to be, for a long time. I think most of us do—or maybe it’s just my hope that I’m not alone in this. Even during my most “self-assured” moments, there’s a small part of me that wonders if I’m good enough, especially when I mess up or make mistakes. These are the moments I can walk my kids through the idea of “learning from your mistakes”—but it’s not easy to do it for myself. It sets me back in my own journey of self-acceptance. As a daughter of Christ, I understand that the Bible says, “I am beautifully and wonderfully made,” but that doesn’t mean I always believe it.
So, it’s my hope that even just for an hour or so, the family, graduate, or child I’m working with feels the love I have for them. That I give them a glimmer of what they’re worth as they laugh and have the opportunity to be the moment. I used to have a decal in my daughter’s room—and then again in the living room—that said, “We do not remember days; we remember moments.” And boy, is that true. I just want to be a moment in someone’s life where they felt confident in who they are now, and who they are becoming, without worrying about the unattainable perfection we see all around us.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Photographer,
Kim
